Small Talk
by StolenCompass
Summary: They were never perfect, but they were always them, Santana and Sebastian. But there will come a time that they had to decide whether whatever they have is still worth keeping or not.


Nobody ever said they would be the perfect couple. Of course, someone had to be the cause of a trouble or another. What they don't completely understand is the fact that after all these years, even with everything that's totally against them, even with everyone telling them that they will not last as long as they did, they still held on like it was everything that their lives were built upon. Sometimes, they have these small and petty fights that almost always lead to bigger and deeper ones that keep them awake at night, or screaming at the top of their lungs at each other. Surprisingly, most of the time, they have these silent moments wherein they would do nothing but stare at each other like time would allow them to be like that until the day they die.

People would never believe at how far they've come.

But of course, nothing is ever flawless.

They stood at both ends of the room; her arms were folded in front of her chest, her eyes red and puffy. It was no doubt that she had been crying. The tears would not stop flowing. The last time she cried as hard as this was when her abuela died, when she lost someone. And this time, it feels like she was about to lose someone again. Even the thought of it made her stomach hurl and her eyes water. She's not going to lose someone again, especially not him. Not the man she loves more than anything.

He, on the other hand, was on the other side of the room. He was trying so hard to keep the emotions at bay, from showing, from letting him bare himself. It would just be so… unlike him. He was biting his bottom lip so hard that it might have bled a little, but it was just right to keep the tears away. He had always been like this—and this time, he's tired of it. He's tired of hurting her over and over again. The worst part is that she keeps coming back to him even when he had been pushing her away so that he could not hurt her again. It keeps happening and he's tired.

He remembered the first time she said those three words. They had been trying this new, but not completely alien thing where they sleep together and see how long it lasts until they develop feelings for each other. The challenge did not last. And as they lie in bed for the nth time that last few months that they actually slept in the same bed, she pushed herself up and propped herself on her elbows. She looked him in the eyes with a sad little smile and kissed him softly. It was a simple question.

"What if I loved you?"

He remembered his answer to that question. He was smiling from ear to ear, the kind of smile that no one really ever sees except for his family, and then Santana. Lately, she had been seeing a different side of him. She had been seeing a smiling Sebastian, a strangely, but not weirdly, emotional Sebastian, a silent Sebastian. This time, he had no means of holding back. He was bared to her and to no one else.

"Then, I'll love you, too."

Right now, the memory only makes his chest constrict in a physically painful way. They don't even remember why they're fighting. All they know is that they're so close to losing the balance they so carefully kept all this time.

The most confusing part of this is that no matter how many times she was pushed by him and then returns to him, when she talks about leaving, he could feel the air being knocked out of his lungs. All he knows is that if she leaves, he'd be broken beyond repair. It was a bad description, but it's the most accurate.

"I…" he was losing his words. His tongue kept tying.

She could not keep the tears in anymore. Her eyes started crying. And the urge to pull her in for a tight embrace was so strong, but he kept it leashed. He just did not want to touch her, because touching her might just keep him glued to her. And if she's really leaving right then, he could not afford to let her go if he's stuck to her.

"Sebastian," she said, her tears escalating. His feet pushed him a few steps towards her, but not close enough to even see the underlying tone of longing in her eyes. His name in her voice, even if it was still a little hoarse from the screaming, was stuck in his head like a song, a melody that's hard to forget.

She looked so vulnerable, so out of her element. But this is when he fell in love with her—at her most vulnerable. He wants to stop making her feel like this. Every time he does, he wants to just run away and never return. Maybe… just maybe, that would be better. But that's a hypothesis he would never have the chance to try. It's do or don't. It's now or never. 'I guess it's now,' he thought, his chest clenching painfully.

"I don't understand," she said, shaking her head, new tears streaming down her cheeks. "You're leaving. What do I do without you?"

He was caught off guard by that question. His eyes wandered as he searched his head for answers. Only one thing came to mind. "You be happy without me, San. I hurt you."

"You don't understand, Bas!" she said, her tone escalating as she shook her head once more. "I would be miserable without you. You don't fucking know how it feels _not_ having you around."

"But I hurt you!" he yelled back, not comprehending why she feels that way. "I hurt you, San. So much."

Her expression looked distant as she tore her gaze away from his. She took a few seconds to say something. "The most painful you will ever do to me is leaving me. Don't do this, Bas. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I… I love you, you know that," he said quietly, almost barely a whisper. "More than anything."

The corners of her lips quirked up, and for the first time that night, he saw her smile. The most amazing part of this was that her simplest smiles can still make his heart flutter after five years.

"I know that," she said, as quietly as he did. "And I love you, too."

He froze when she stood and walked over to him. She enveloped him in a tight embrace, making his eyes water. _This_, he thought_, is how much she loves me_. _This is enough._

He wound his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. She tilted her head up to meet his lips with hers in a kiss that spelled out how much she needs him, and he her. It was gentle and soft, not like the other ones they usually share, but he thought this was always the one kind of kiss that he can't do without. This is Santana, she is his. And he was hers.

"Stay," she said as she pulled away. He leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes closed and his lips smiling.

"As long as you want me to," he replied.

* * *

**AN: **Hey guys, it's been so long since I last posted. This is just a little thing that's been running around in my mind for a couple of days now. As soon as I was done putting it in words, I posted it since I miss this ship so much. Anyways, here it is. Read and review, guys! I love you all.


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